Chapter 1 - 'Air'ing Out Issues!

 

"How was the party yesterday?" Urvi asked Jasleen.

It was 7 in the morning and like every day, the group of ladies had assembled at the park. There was a bench which the ladies had reserved for themselves. Everyone who was a regular in the park knew them and gave them a safe pass, for the ladies were TROUBLE.

All of them belonged to the Orchids Complex. They had been friends since a decade. At 80 years of age, Mrs. Fernandes was the eldest of the group. With a straight posture that could give models a run for their money, she was a formidable lady who had a no-nonsense attitude and a permanent scowl on her face that belied her sense of humor. Urvi Mehta, Jasleen Ahuja, Sheetal Kulkarni, Meenakshi Iyer and Yasmin Khan were all in their early fifties, Jasleen being the youngest among them.

"Oh. It was... what can I say?" Jasleen said with a dramatic sigh and fell silent, apparently lost in thoughts. The group, sensing that something juicy and gossipy was about to follow, huddled closer to her. Jasleen had the weirdest of experiences and events to narrate. If she decided to write a book about her life, it would probably turn into a best-seller under the Humor genre.

"Come on, it’s us! You can talk to us about it." Yasmin said, barely able to  conceal her excitement.

Jasleen looked at all the eager faces around her and sighed again.

"Oh, enough of that irritating 'hmmmmm'! Blurt it out before I die, will you?" Mrs. Fernandes, finally losing her patience, said curtly.

"It all started really well, you know. The ambiance of the hotel was perfect, just something that you might expect in a five-star hotel. The food was excellent, no other words to describe it. Mr.Ahuja and I had a great time with the ex-colleagues from his office. They were quite a decent group. The ladies bonded really well with me." Jasleen paused, looking uncomfortable.

"Yeah, yeah we get it, it was perfect. Come to the part where everything fell apart!" Mrs.Fernandes commanded in her usual way.

Jasleen looked at her wide-eyed. “How did you know that everything fell apart?”

Mrs. Fernandes smirked. “It’s you. Of course everything fell apart.”

Ayesha, the daughter of Sheetal Kulkarni, found herself unwittingly caught up in the group's ongoing session. Her mother had pleaded with her to come for a walk and although all that Ayesha wanted to do was to curl up and sleep for eternity, she had come for the sake of her mom.

"All was going well until we finished eating the main course and were waiting for the dessert. I was feeling really full and ... you know what I wanted to do desperately." Jasleen looked at the group sadly.

"Oh yes, but you said it irritates Mr.Ahuja if you burp loudly!" Sheetal exclaimed.

"I know! And I controlled it to my best extent." 

"Then what happened?" Yasmin asked, sounding really impatient.

"Well, I didn't burp." Jasleen said. There was a stunned silence of few seconds, until Mrs.Fernandes shouted in glee - "You passed air?"

When Jasleen nodded in dismay, the whole group burst into raucous laughter, shocking the people passing by.

Jasleen looked around helplessly until she too succumbed to the infectious laughter of the group.

Ayesha shook her head, wondering what she was doing there and why.

"For letting out air in a five-star restaurant, in front of the ex-colleagues of your husband who gets irritated if you just burp, you have earned my respect and blessings forever, female!" Mrs.Fernandes managed to say, breathless with laughter. 

"But Mr.Ahuja - what did he say?" Urvi had sobered up enough to ask.

Jasleen smiled wickedly. She seemed to have gotten over the embarrassment of the episode. "You didn't hear the rest. It so happened that after my - little mishap - one of the gentlemen, I don't remember his name, appeared to have a severe bout of coughing. He had his kerchief to his mouth and was turning all red. I was starting to worry for him when he finally removed the kerchief and laughed aloud. Not only that, he laughed so hard that he himself let out air! Soon, the guys decided to hold a contest as to who can pass air the longest and the loudest."

The group exploded with laughter. "And your husband? What was his reaction?" asked Meenakshi who was laughing the hardest in the group.

"Well, he shot me an angry look at first, as if it was all my fault. But then, he won the contest, so all is well for now."

Sheetal helplessly collapsed on Ayesha with shaking shoulders and tears leaking out of her eyes. Ayesha could no longer control her own smile and looked away, feeling that the whole matter was totally ridiculous yet funny.

Read Part 2 Here!